Law Enforcement
by PhoenixStarry
Summary: What happened before the Joker disguised himself as a policeman.


Law Enforcement

Thomas Schiff shifted nervously in his seat, eyes darting to the men sitting next to him. Muffled shouts could be heard from the back of the large van, making him jump in fright. He blushed profusely when he heard the goon, Sneezy laugh at him. The van finally reached its destination, rolling to a stop outside a large apartment building. Bashful quickly shut off the engine and turned to the man beside him.

"So how are we gonna do this?"

Jolly ran his fingers through his mousy brown hair. He felt weird without his clown mask on but the boss had insisted on them not to be worn. He glanced back at the three people sitting in the back seat. Sneezy and Gloomy sat on either side of Schiff, both clutching small handguns.

"One of us should go ahead to check if everything's clear. The rest of us will go around back to get the cops."

The criminals jumped out onto the pavement, Bashful rushing ahead into the building. Jolly grabbed the gun from Sneezy as he unlocked the back doors of the van while the other two gathered six guns from the back seat. Schiff stood at the side of the road, not sure what to do.

"Hey Schiff! Help me will ya!"

Schiff scurried over to Jolly, shakily taking the gun that was thrust at him. Jolly grabbed two of the cops from the van and threw them to the ground. They both struggled against the ropes that bound their wrists and ankles together. The other goons soon joined them and helped to get all six officers out and onto the ground. The policemen twisted and turned to try and get free but immediately stopped when three of their own guns were suddenly pointed in their direction. After a few minutes, the henchmen managed to get the fighting cops over to the doorway where Bashful was standing waiting for them.

"The place is completely empty."

"Good."

The group of men made their way up the dirty staircase, carelessly dragging the uniformed men behind them, their heads banging painfully on the concrete below. They walked down a long white corridor, coming to a stop at a mahogany door with the number 1502 engraved on it. The goons pushed the squirming cops and nervous Schiff through into a plain white room. The room was completely bare except for a tall pillar in the centre and a window on one side of the room. As they walked further into the room, they noticed a small telescope propped up against the back wall. Bashful turned to Jolly in confusion.

"Why the hell is there a telescope here?"

Jolly shrugged nonchalantly and shoved two policemen face down onto the floor which resulted in a sickening crunch as their faces met with the hard concrete. Jolly walked over to the window and peered out from behind the blind that hid the room from the outside world.

"Uh, what should we do with them?" Gloomy asked, indicating the six officers.

"Tie them to that pillar thing. We'll see what the boss wants to do with them."

Gloomy nodded, and with the help of Bashful and Sneezy, pushed them over and bound them tightly to the pillar. After about an hour of waiting, there was a loud bang which sounded like a gunshot.

"What the hell?!"

Jolly turned back towards the window to see what was happening out on the street below. His eyes were immediately drawn to an elderly man who was slumped against a parking meter, a large gunshot wound in his forehead. Dark crimson blood flowed freely down his withered face, dripping onto his cheap grey suit. Jolly turned, ready to tell them about the man down on the street but was cut short by the sound of light footsteps coming from the corridor outside the room. Schiff raised the gun he still held and aimed it shakily at the door as it swung open. A slim man casually entered the room, frowning at Schiff playfully.

"Now Schiffy, is that any way to treat the guy who rescued you from Arkham?"

Schiff looked the stranger up and down, confusion evident on his face. He quickly looked at everyone to see their reactions and was relieved to see that they all looked just as confused. The man standing in the doorway was wearing a black and purple striped hoodie, black jeans with a chain and black shoes. He was also wearing a multicolored scarf which clashed with the rest of his clothes. The scarf hid the bottom half of his face while the hood on his hoodie hid the top half. All that could be seen were his piercing, acid green eyes. The man gazed curiously around the room before stepping in further, slamming the door shut behind him.

"What's with the looks? Don't you recognise me?" he giggled.

Jolly's eyes narrowed as he thought. It couldn't be him, his voice was deeper than what it usually was and he wasn't even wearing his suit. He was snapped out of his musings when he saw the man lower his hood and yank his scarf down, revealing those grotesque scars. The man twirled around dramatically and smiled widely, spreading his scars.

"Tada!" he said in his high pitched voice.

It was the Joker alright.

Schiff gasped quietly as he studied the man in front of him. He looked so much younger without the makeup and hair dye. His hair was a golden color and was neatly slicked back away from his face with the occasional strand falling into his eyes. The skin around his eyes was darkened, proof that he hardly ever slept. The Joker noticed Schiff staring at him and stalked over to him. He knew that Schiff was absolutely petrified of him, but also knew that the man completely idolized him too.

"You like what you see Schiffy?" he winked, then rolled his eyes. He turned his attention back to the clowns who were watching in amazement.

"What?!" he snapped angrily, glaring at them.

"Um, nothing Boss you just look... good..." Gloomy replied stupidly.

The Joker's eyes flashed, rage glazing over them. He stomped over to the now trembling man and grabbed a fistful of his greasy black hair, making the older man wince. The goon refused to look at him, instead focusing on the dusty floor and not on those poisonous eyes.

"Look at me," the blond man whispered dangerously.

Gloomy quickly obeyed, locking eyes with the angered man. The Joker was so close that he noticed that some of the red lipstick that his boss so proudly wore still lingered on his bottom lip. The Joker snarled, baring his stained teeth.

"Don't you dare say anything like that again..."

Confusion formed on his face. He hadn't said anything offensive had he? He just said that the boss looked good. Blinking slowly, he opened his mouth to speak but the words got stuck in his throat. The Joker eyed him with disgust and pushed him away roughly. Gloomy regained his footing, scrambling as far away from the man as he could go. The Joker cracked his neck, eyes wandering to the silent officers. A wide excited grin spread over his face at the sight of the helpless men. He bounced happily over to them as the clowns breathed a sigh of relief, glad to see their boss happy again. The blond haired man crouched down in front of one and smiled.

"Hello there!"

The policeman stared at him fearfully. The Joker examined the other five cops, eyes narrowing slightly. He looked over his shoulder at the henchmen.

"They're not wearing any blindfolds!

Jolly swore his heart had stopped for a minute. He had left them in the van. Without another word, he dashed out the door to go and retrieve them. The Joker growled, clicking his tongue in annoyance.

"Amateur."

Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a small white timer. Shaking his head, he set it on the ground next to him. He continued to search his pockets desperately, but then giggled once he found was he was searching for. Sliding his trouser leg up slowly, making sure his hostages could see, he pulled out a switchblade from his red and white striped sock. He cradled the blade close to his chest, twirling it from one hand to the other.

"There you are..." he said as he seductively licked the knife, slowly sliding his tongue from hilt to tip. All the men in the room watched quietly, transfixed and horrified at the scene before them. The Joker sighed in pleasure when he felt the tangy, copper taste of blood fill his mouth, dripping from his lips. He gave it one last lick before pointing it at the cop nearest him.

"We uh, are gonna be needing those pretty uniforms you have there," he smirked, a thin trail of red still slipping down his chin. Jolly then burst into the room, panting heavily. He quickly jogged over to the Joker and shakily held the blindfolds out to him. The Joker stared at his unsteady hand, lip curling.

"What? Can't do it yourself?"

Jolly nodded frantically and dashed to the first man, tying the fabric tightly around his head, obscuring his vision. After he had did the same to the others, he looked nervously at the man still crouched on the ground and awaited further instruction. The blond man stared back expectantly before standing up, taking the timer with him. He poked Jolly's nose with the blade warningly and slinked back over to the group of criminals. He yanked Bashful and Sneezy's heads back, forcefully shoving them towards where Jolly stood.

".Uniforms."

The three goons quickly got to work, groaning when they realized that the restraints made it more difficult to get the clothes off. The Joker paid no attention to the struggling men, instead taking Schiff to the side. He gave Gloomy a pointed look.

"Get lost."

The clown complied, running over to help the others. Schiff shivered when he felt a black gloved hand grip his shoulder, stroking it gently. He had never been this close to the Joker before, and it made him feel nervous, sweat dotting his brow. The Joker leaned in to whisper in Schiff's ear.

"Now Schiffy, do you know what you're gonna be doing?"

Schiff closed his eyes, trying to remember what he had been taught. He had memorized the positions of the honor guards so that he would be able to re-create them when the time came. Biting his bottom lip, he nodded. The Joker grinned maliciously, excitement and insanity swirling in his toxic eyes. Rubbing his hands together, he turned when he heard someone cough behind him. His eyes were drawn to the clowns holding uniforms and the scantily dressed cops. He swaggered over to Jolly, smacking him upside the head.

"You took your time."

Jolly mumbled a quick apology, watching the Joker unzip his hoodie and throw it to the ground. The others stared awkwardly as he slipped his shoes off and hooked his thumbs into his waistband. Catching sight of the gaping men, he growled.

"It's not a strip show! Get dressed!"

Schiff's cheeks reddened at the order, slowly undressing. He didn't want anybody to see him. The goons quickly dressed, not wanting to get on their boss's bad side. The blond man wiggled out of his jeans, revealing black, silky boxers and pale thighs. Schiff gulped and tried to avert his gaze but the Joker caught him staring. He winked at the crimson man.

"Pervert..." he grinned as he pulled on a pair of black trousers. Picking a black hat up off the floor, he fixed it on his head, making sure that no strands of hair poked out. After they had all dressed, the now disguised Joker pointed at the largest goon. Bashful then tilted his head towards the telescope which lay forgotten against the wall.

"Set that up over at the window."

Bashful did as he was told, hefting the object over to the window and positioning it so that it pointed out from behind the blind. The Joker retrieved the timer from where he had set it on the floor so that he could change his clothes and threw it at Jolly, hitting him square in the chest.

"It's already set; just attach it to the blind so that when it goes off the blind will go up."

The scarred man looked at the remaining goons, eyeing them closely. Smacking his lips, he fixed his tie.

"Did you all learn the routine?"

They all knew that he was referring to the cops and nodded, making him grin widely.

"Grea-t!"

He crouched down to study the guns that lay strewn across the floor. Making a satisfying humming sound, he picked one up, examining it carefully.

"This will do nicely... Boys! Get a gun."

They all scurried over and grabbed the gun that was nearest to them. After a look from their boss, they trooped over to the door. Before leaving, the Joker smirked at the blindfolded captives.

"Who knows... you lucky dogs might get to meet the Bat!"

Laughing manically, he followed his men out, slamming the door loudly behind him.

After waiting a couple of hours, bagpipes and drums echoed from outside the dingy apartment block, alerting the criminals who were spying through the hallway window. Lots of policemen were in the street along with a few horses.

"Boss? It's starting..."

The Joker looked up from his deck of cards which he had made Jolly go buy for him because he was bored.

"Finally!" He jumped to his feet, straightening his uniform. "Let's go!"

The group of men made their way out into the daylight, quickly walking past the policemen who were busy sipping coffee and chatting as they waited for the ceremony to begin. The Joker bowed his head to stop anybody from seeing his face. They reached the mayor's podium without any hassle and formed a line. The musical instruments started up again, making everybody rush into position. A group of people walked slowly towards the front, followed by the many marching police. The Joker scanned the people as they passed by him. The mayor and Harvey Dent were the ones he recognized straight away. His eyes then landed on brunette woman who was clutching Harvey's hand.

So Batsy's sweetheart had survived that fall huh?

Growling, he tried to compose himself as he felt a pang of jealously. Oh she would get what's coming to her. Mayor Garcia's voice snapped him out of his reverie. The mayor was talking about the deceased Commissioner Loeb; the Joker roll his eyes. Bored, he looked at the mayor and had to stifle a giggle.

Was he wearing eyeliner?

Everything then went quiet, and the Joker wondered what had happened.

"Stand by, honor guard, attention!" Sneezy called, remembering the lines he had learned.

The Joker drew in an excited breath, trying to contain himself.

"Ready, aim, fire!"

Adrenaline seeped into his veins. It was coming...

The same words were repeated as the group of disguised criminals shot again. More gunshots followed their own. The snipers had seen the blind spring up and had panicked, shooting at the window.

"Ready... aim..."

Everything went by in a blur. The Joker shot at the mayor, instead hitting Gordon who had foolishly jumped in the way. Screams and cries of panic erupted on the street. Policemen scattered, running to safety while others rushed to the front, desperate to catch the men responsible for the cruel attack. As the Joker dropped the gun and ran into the hysterical crowd, he heard Schiff cry out beside him and noticed the man fall to the ground. He was immediately caught and restrained by several policemen. Glancing up at the window, he briefly saw that the blind was up and that a figure was standing there, back turned. He nearly squealed in delight.

So Bats was here!

The excited clown really wanted to go back to the apartment to see his Dark Knight, but decided against it. There was plenty of opportunities to go and see Basty and that moment wasn't one of them. He safely stumbled into an alley and tried to catch his breath. Realizing that none of his henchmen had followed him, he shrugged. He couldn't care less about them. The Joker grinned proudly at the thought of shooting Batman's friend, Jim Gordon. Twirling around, he walked down the cobbled alley, kicking a bin over as he went and laughed uncontrollably. The Batman would be oh so angry with him! He couldn't wait!

"Come and get me Batsy!" 


End file.
